You Get to Take Up Space
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we will be completing our current series on: THERAPEUTIC ONE-LINERS! YAY!
The phrase that we will be reviewing today is: You get to take up space.
I am adding in this one-liner last minute for people who struggle with shame.
Shame is an emotion that stems from a fear of disconnection.
Shame causes us to self-isolate and self-berate when we feel insufficient in our attempts to earn the respect or approval of others.
Essentially, shame’s adaptive function is to keep us from getting shunned from society, since we need other people in order to survive.
But shame can be problematic when it goes unregulated or unchallenged in the human psyche.
It can cause people to believe all kinds of negative things about themselves that can be either unhelpful or entirely untrue, for example:
1) That they are intrinsically bad
2) That they’re a perpetual imposition to others
3) That they can’t do anything right
4) That they will never be enough (perfectionists)
5) That they are fundamentally inadequate
Often times, excessive amounts of shame manifest as negative core beliefs about the self—for example, people falsely presume that they lack overall worthiness or desirability, because their shame tells them that they possess little inherent value as a person.
Of course, not everybody struggles with low self-worth or shame, but for those who do, the idea of imposing themselves on the outside world feels like a cardinal sin.
Furthermore, many people who struggle with shame dream about manifesting big, beautiful lives for themselves, but they often hold themselves back from chasing their aspirations because they don’t think that they are capable or worthy of any success.
Consequently, people with copious amounts of unregulated shame are rarely bold enough to go after what they want or stand up for themselves at times when it truly matters.
Therefore, in order to begin to reverse and heal metastatic shame in therapy, we teach people how to become more shame-resilient.
One way that we do this is by reminding people that it’s okay to take up space.
Giving an ashamed person permission to take up space is like offering them an escape from their otherwise chronic state of heightened, self-conscious insecurity.
Learning to take up space helps people with too much shame rediscover their sense of belonging in the world while simultaneously reducing the guilt that they feel for simply existing (because, again, shame tells us that we are intrinsically bad).
Therefore, today’s one-liner, You get to take up space, is intended to dispel the learned beliefs that shame often generates—i.e., that we are unacceptable as we are and that we must atone for these insufficiencies by dampening our impact on the world as much as possible.
In summation, if you are somebody who struggles with low self-worth, imposter syndrome, or any other common manifestation of shame, just remember that You get to take up space.
Shame tells us that we are fundamentally flawed and that the smaller and less significant we become, the better off the world will be—but this narrative only results in self-defeat, isolation, and robs us of the capacity to reach our full potential.
You won’t become a leader in this lifetime by being timid and suppressing who you were born to be.
As you go through the world and take life by the horns, you’re going to make some waves, and that’s OKAY.
There’s room for you here, and taking control of your future is not selfish, it is responsible—and will ultimately allow you to prosper and make space for others to flourish, too.
To wrap up our discussion for today, I hope that you enjoyed our recent series on therapeutic one-liners.
Next week, I will take a break from writing in order to map out the next installment of posts that will be coming your way!
Be sure to stay tuned for that…
ALSO~
There are NEW videos out on the MoodiNews YouTube channel now, so check those out here and join the current conversation on ways to manage anxiety in daily life.
Happy Thursday, Everyone!