Watch Your Own Bobber

Hi there!

Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Today, we will be continuing our current series on: THERAPEUTIC ONE-LINERS! YAY!

The phrase that we will be reviewing today is: Watch your own bobber.

Watch your own bobber is an analogy from the sport of fishing…

Let’s say that you and I are out fishing together.             

We both have lines in the water, and both of our lines are connected to bobbers that are bouncing on the water’s surface.

Your bobber is white; mine is purple.

In order to fish properly, we both need to watch our respective bobbers…

It would be unwise of me to focus on your white bobber, because the white bobber is not attached to my pole.

Similarly, if you’re busy watching my purple bobber, when your white bobber goes under, you won’t reel in your catch, because you’re not focused on what’s important.

So it goes in life.

The idea behind Watch your own bobber is to remind people to stay in their own lane.

A lot of times, especially in early recovery, people have a hard time prioritizing themselves and can become easily distracted (either out of pain or boredom) with other people’s problems.

And, even for people who don’t need to prioritize their mental health or personal development, it’s still often tempting for the average person to watch, wonder, or worry about other people’s issues as a way to procrastinate or entertain themselves!

I am certainly guilty of this—as most of us are.

Historically, I’ve spent LOADS of time concerning myself with frivolous trappings on TV or other people’s drama.

However, since starting my own recovery, I’ve realized that when I fail to Watch my own bobber, I am so much less productive and feel so much worse on the inside compared to when I just handle my business and worry less about the external stuff.

When fishing, if we spend too much time watching other people’s bobbers, we will miss out on important opportunities (i.e., a fish on the line!) and red flags (i.e., getting caught in the weeds!) that we can’t afford to ignore.  

And the same goes for life:

When we focus too much on the outside world and fail to attune first and foremost to ourselves, we will ultimately lack the self-awareness needed to focus and eventually thrive of our own accord.

Therefore, Watching your own bobber is all about prioritizing our own problems and responsibilities above the problems and issues of others.

This one-liner highlights the importance of discerning between someone else’s ‘reel’ (hello, Instagram!), and our own—and then learning to stay committed to the latter at all costs.

Anytime that we want to make a change in our lives—whether that’s raising a family, starting a business, switching careers, or fixing anxiety and depression—it’s going to demand a lot of discomfort and discipline from us.

Living life (i.e., fishing for ourselves) is a challenging and effortful task—so, when we finally decide to do it, and live as purposefully as we can, there becomes little time left to focus on other people's issues.

When clients come in for therapy and they start talking to me about other people’s problems instead of their own (i.e., the latest TV shows, celebrity gossip, political news, etc.), I gently bring the conversation back to them.

Because that’s how we train ourselves to Watch our own bobber—we start with our own work, first.

However, the task of Watching your own bobber is easier said than done.

It’s a subversive act in today’s society to purposefully isolate ourselves from negativity and ill will.

Some people are shamed and labeled ‘self-absorbed’ when taking this step, because it requires saying ‘no’ to things or people that pull us in the wrong direction.

Furthermore, social media, online influencers, and advertising in general like to do a lot of our thinking for us—which also presents an isolating challenge once we start to go against the grain and ignore whatever is trending in the popular culture.

Nevertheless, in order to self-actualize, we must all learn to master the art of Watching our own bobber.

There’s always going to be someone waiting to take advantage of our time and energy if we let them—so it’s important that we resist that invitation.

In summation, if you’re someone who becomes preoccupied with other people’s business when you get stressed out or bored, then today’s one-liner, Watch your own bobber, is for you.

It will be important to remind yourself that someone else’s divorce, weight loss struggles, messy front yard, or work promotion is not your problem until you’ve tended to your own needs first!

Consider getting off your phone, concerning yourself less with other people’s personal affairs, and realize that your own bobber requires enough attention as it is—independent of what’s happening to somebody else.

Ultimately, when we stay in our lane, life becomes simplified and more enjoyable overall—we become grounded in the here-and-now and get to create our future by design.

So, be sure to Watch you own bobber—that’s how you’ll be able to lock in on yourself, and eventually find the path that will lead you towards to the most meaningful and authentic life long-term.