Please Stop 'Trying'

Hi there!

Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Today, we will be continuing our series on the importance of SEMANTICS in mental health! YAY!

In this post, we are going to review another word that, as a therapist, I encourage my clients to avoid—that word is TRY.

Try is probably one of the most ambiguous words in the English language—I’m 30 years old and, half the time, I still don’t know what it means.

(I’m being a bit facetious here… try technically means to “make an attempt or effort to do something.”)

But still…

Too often, I hear people claim that they are ‘trying’ when they are just thinking about doing something. They are not actually putting forth any effort and are just pondering something in their heads—which, by definition, is not trying.

The semantical muddiness around the word try is why I don’t like it—it’s often used in a manner that’s entirely vague.

Try is a popular catch-all verb—and it therefore lends itself well to poor communication.

Real trying requires putting forth effort. When you’re truly trying, you’re, by default, taking action.

(And, when that’s the case, you might as well give yourself credit and use language that reflects what you’re actually doing, aside from merely trying.)

Conversely, if no effort is being made, then you’re not really trying—and remember that lying to ourselves is one of the easiest ways to lose integrity and self-respect over time.

So, as a therapist, I encourage my clients to stop using the word try altogether.

For the sake of simplicity, I tell them:

“There is no try, there is only do.”

Even this small, semantical change can transform a person’s level of ownership over their life.

At first, it stings when we stop settling for try and decide to use more decisive language—but, over time, the resulting reduction in ambiguity is pure gold for supporting self-improvement.

So, in summation, try eliminating the word try from your vocabulary for a while and see what happens…

Just kidding! :)

STOP trying, and START doing.

Replace statements like, “I’ll try…” with “I will.”

And—most importantly—stop saying, “I’m trying,” when you’re not actually putting any effort towards the things that you intend to do.

In the words of Master Yoda from Star Wars:

“Do or do not do. There is no try.”

Enjoy the rest of your week!