Unpacking 'I Don't Have Enough Time'
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we will be continuing our series on the importance of SEMANTICS in mental health! YAY!
In this post, we will review one final phrase that keeps people stuck in therapy.
That phrase is: “I don’t have enough time.”
This phrase is a fan favorite.
People love to use lack of time as a justification for why they can’t, won’t, or aren’t doing the things that they want or need to be doing.
Therefore, removing the phrase I don’t have enough time from people’s verbal arsenal is a very helpful tool in therapy.
It forces people to assess with greater acuity why they are not accomplishing what needs to get done.
Below are a few examples of people failing to discern the difference between a lack of time and personal error:
1) People underestimate how long things will take—and then overbook themselves (for example, a ‘quick run to Costco’ ends up taking two hours, and then they miss their yoga class)
2) People fail to keep track of their responsibilities, which leaves important things undone (i.e., not planning ahead for an oil change and a haircut means they watch TV all weekend, only to chaotically cram their errands into a less flexible schedule later on in the week)
3) People actually HAVE the time to do a task, but they put it off or avoid doing it altogether because of willfulness (This is mood dependent behavior in action… bad decisions lead to bad feelings, then people act on their emotion and the cycle repeats itself)
4) People simply have too much going on. Sometimes people ABSOLUTELY need to simplify their lives, take on less, and free up more time in their schedule in order to regain control of their lives. Doing less is not always the answer, but it’s nigh impossible to thrive when we’re feeling constantly maxed out by life. (Therapy teaches people how to budget their time, prioritize what’s important to them, and adjust problematic expectations for this reason—changing one’s relationship with time requires planning, intention, and effort. In case you are interested, I have a previous blog discussing ways to improve time management skills—you can find it here if you’re looking for help getting or staying organized!)
In theory, most people know that their time is a valuable asset.
However, in practice, lots of people waste a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT of their time doing activities that do not improve the quality of their life.
It is therefore important for each of us to routinely slow down and review how we are spending our days, months, and years, in order to avoid losing sight of where we are and where we’re going.
Again, the phrase I don’t have enough time is a hard one for people to give up, because time is a limited resource and because we all face obligations that keep us from doing what we want, when we want—which gets frustrating!
That being said, it’s still our job to design a life worth living during our waking hours.
That’s why we’re here.
I’m talking about actually prioritizing our passions and our well-being like our life depends on it—because it does.
So, if you struggle with a scarcity mindset around time, consider the following:
Do you really NOT have time for anything, or are you just not making time for the right things?
(Think about a time when you were very busy but still managed to make space in your schedule for something important. We often have WAY more control over our lives than we care to admit…)
Every time that you say ‘no’ to one thing, you are saying ‘yes’ to something else.
(Before assuming that you didn’t do something because you didn’t have time, examine first what you actually did with that time—and if it was not skillfully used, then a lack of time isn’t your only issue…)
Moving forward, also consider rephrasing the statement I didn’t have enough time in the following ways:
1) “I didn’t MAKE enough time…” -or-
2) “I didn’t GIVE myself enough time…”
Both of these statements communicate more intrinsic accountability than I didn’t have enough time—and will also give you insight into where you can continue to grow and improve despite your current circumstances.
Here’s the bottom line: You can design a life that allows you to go to the gym. You can design a life that allows you to get a better job. You can design a life that allows you to spend more time with your children.
Sacrifice is often required for these things—but in the long-term, they are available to you.
Right now, you have as much time as you ever will for building the life of your dreams.
Stop telling yourself that you don’t have enough time, and start acknowledging that you either will or won’t design the future that you want for yourself only if/when you choose to do so.
Change is a slow and often painful process, but that’s why we’re given a lifetime—and not just one week!—to develop into who we are supposed to be.
Use your time wisely—and make sure that, at this time next year, you’re not still standing where you are right now, wishing that you had started something sooner.
Next week, we will transition from our recent discussions on problematic phrases to avoid, into exploring some helpful phrases for mental resilience!
MoodiNews YouTube videos will also be dropping soon on New Year’s resolution adherence and tips for planning out a successful year in 2024.
Subscribe here so you don’t miss out!