You Can Do Hard Things

Hi there!

Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Unlike the words and phrases that we’ve discussed in recent weeks—which reduce people’s capacity to think skillfully—today, we will begin to discuss a few phrases that can help people build mental resilience.

The phrase that we will be reviewing today is: “I can do hard things.”

A lot of people need to burn this sentence into their brain.

We all experience ‘hard things’ differently—what’s difficult for me might be easy for you, etc.

Still, it’s human nature to want to run away from pain and struggle, which is why it’s essential to have a way to override that instinct when doing so is essential for our growth and development.

At its core, the phrase I can do hard things is an antidote to quitting.

It’s a beautiful response to that instinctual desire within all of us that wants to submit to feelings of frustration or demoralization whenever we’re under stress.

Lots of people talk themselves out of doing important or challenging things in life because those things feel too hard.

When my clients use “It’s too hard!” as an excuse for checking out or avoiding their problems in therapy, I just point to a sign that hangs in my office that says, We Can Do Hard Things—and I say, “I know, but don’t forget..!”

Everyone wants to quit sometimes. It’s okay (and natural) to not want to face adversity, because it hurts—that’s what ‘hard’ feels like.

But tolerating hard moments is necessary in life, and the phrase I can do hard things acts as a conduit for maintaining the mental willingness needed to push through challenging moments anyway.

Whenever I am struggling (i.e., daily!) and find myself wanting to tap out of important activities (for instance, I don’t want to go to the grocery store when it’s cold and dark outside -or- I am tired and I don’t want to write a blog today..!), I just say to myself:

“This is hard.”

And then, on repeat, I remind myself, “(I know, but…) I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I can do hard things…”

I essentially repeat I can do hard things to myself, over and over, until I’m able to get up and move forward.

Whenever you catch yourself saying, “This is hard -or- I hate this!”—you, too, can set your mind straight and motivate yourself to stay on track by using the phrase I can do hard things.

Consider writing I can do hard things on a post-it note and putting it somewhere—your kitchen, car, office, wherever!—you will see it frequently, in order to constantly remind yourself that hard things happen BUT that you are also stronger than you think—so you can handle it!

Like I said before, ‘hard’ is a relative term.

Even the smallest things in life can take a lot of energy and conviction to complete (i.e., cleaning up after ourselves; being honest; staying healthy), so that which challenges you also represents an amazing opportunity to build grit, courage, and confidence in yourself.

Don’t be afraid of doing hard things.

In the end, anything worth doing is worth doing well—so, sooner or later, hard things are inevitable.

(Making a habit of facing life head-on also makes you more resilient in the face of unexpected, future curveballs, so doing hard things is also a good idea for that reason.)

Anything that you find fulfilling in this lifetime is naturally going to challenge you.

Comfort will not suffice as the crowning achievement of your life when all is said and done, so stop telling yourself that difficulty is your enemy.

Just be sure to remember—You can do hard things!

This phrase will take you far if you let it, so definitely keep it in mind!