When All Else Fails...
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we are talking about: MY FAVORITE, TOP-TIER COPING SKILL FOR LIFE! YAY!
Today’s post is short and sweet, because the coping skill that we will be discussing is just that: straightforward and effective.
A lot of times, when I am working with people in therapy and their situation is overwhelming or utterly disastrous, I whittle their homework down to just one coping skill that can carry a person through a lot of distress:
Do three skillful things every day—at a minimum.
This is one of my favorite strategies for tackling life when the going gets rough.
Why?
Because doing three skillful things every day can be customized to any situation, while still presenting opportunities for a person to experience hope (as hope is based off of our actions).
The trick to making this skill work is in deciding what to do for our 3 skillful actions on any given day.
Ideally, the trio needs to consist of the 3 most critical tasks that we can think of that, once completed, will either improve our day and make our situation better, or, at a minimum, keep things from getting worse.
For example, if the action of getting out of bed on time is not a challenge for you, then that decision doesn’t count.
However, if making your bed feels like skinning yourself alive—but then you feel accomplished after you do it—then that behavior would qualify as a skillful action to take.
Here are some common examples of skillful actions that tend to benefit most people:
Make bed, go to work, go to the gym
Make breakfast, run XYZ errands, walk the dog
Finish homework, clean up the kitchen, do 1 load of laundry
Submit 2 job applications, complete current work project, check email
Make weekend plans, pick up the kids, shave
Sometimes, when life feels like it’s getting away from us, it only takes a few small victories to help is feel like we still possess some control.
Essentially, a triple skill stack like the one we are discussing today is helpful, because it not only clarifies our duties on days when we are disorganized (which is common under stress), but it also helps reduce our propensity to fall into distraction or self-destructive behavior when we feel desperate or emotionally untethered (which is also common under stress).
The most important thing to remember is to select 3 tasks that require a solid effort on our part to participate in life with both intention and willingness, in order to ensure that we receive maximum benefit from whatever actions we decide to take.
So, the next time that you find yourself in a position where your plans have been scrapped, you’re having a terrible day, or you are totally over (or under) whelmed by everything that you have going on around you, simply work at completing 3 skillful things that will help you rebalance yourself mentally amidst the challenges of your situation.
(For instance, every Thursday, writing this blog is one of my 3 skillful action items because it’s not always easy to do, but, once it’s done, I consistently feel good about my achievement, rather than hating on myself for procrastinating—plus, it assists me in moving towards my long-term writing goals by prioritizing this newsletter).
In summation, doing at least 3 skillful things every day can give you something to feel good about—even when all else fails.
I encourage you to practice using this skill when you’re stuck or overwhelmed on a bad day, or, even on your good days, to make this skill an ongoing habit.
Sometimes in life, we need a straightforward solution that we can reach for when it feels like the world is spinning faster than we’d like—and, when that’s the case, just reach for this skill and remember to take at least 3 skillful actions FIRST, before folding into defeat!