Understanding Dialectics
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we will be discussing: DIALECTICS! YAY!
The concept of dialectics (in therapy) stems from a type of treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
The founder of DBT, Marsha Linehan, defines a dialectic as the “synthesis or integration of opposites.”
(DBT therapy is all about ‘embracing dialectics,’ since it’s primary function is to help people regain control over their lives through the use of two ‘opposing but complimentary’ principles: validation and change.)
In therapy, dialectics occur when two opposing things are also true at the same time.
Dialectics, for example, often present as a both/and:
I can be both happy and sad.
I can be both angry and appreciative.
I can be both excited and terrified… all at the same time.
Dialectics come in handy during therapy, because they help people reduce extreme, binary, emotional thinking (i.e., ‘black-and-white’ or ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking).
Examples of extreme, emotional thinking are:
If I am mad at you, you are bad.
If I don’t like something, my mind can’t be changed.
If I feel a certain way, my feelings must be true.
Being able to both identify and embrace dialectics in life is crucial for mental resilience, because the world is complicated and because binary, emotional thinking often makes it harder for people to change (it encourages willfulness).
Understanding dialectics can therefore be helpful, because it gives people a way to validate complexity, while still acknowledging that opposing realities can coexist simultaneously.
Recognizing that the world is full of opposing forces in constant interplay is at the heart of learning acceptance—which is fundamental to behavior change.
So, here are some common, everyday dialectics in action:
We can both love and dislike a person at the same time.
We can both do our best and still do better.
Life can be both painful and still worth living.
Once you know about dialectics and you start to look for them, you will see them everywhere.
Life is rarely easy, but identifying the dialectics all around us can help us resist reality less and have an easier time accepting things prior to change.
(This is the beauty of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy—it takes tangible, sometimes frustrating, realities and balances them with truth, hope, and tools for self-improvement.)
So, the next time you find yourself struggling with willfulness or emotional thinking (i.e., signs of resistance rather than acceptance), see if you can’t identify where you might be missing a dialectic in action.
Knowing when you’re facing a dialectic can help normalize your experience, bring about acceptance in the moment, and, ultimately, pave the way for you to respond more skillfully to the situation at hand.