The Power of *Star Qualities*
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we will be discussing: STAR QUALITIES! YAY!
We are currently in the middle of a month-long series on goal-setting—and if you are someone who struggles to follow through when setting goals for yourself, then today’s conversation will be a game-changer for you.
To begin, let’s start with the definition of star qualities:
Star qualities are positive character traits in a person.
For context, here’s a quick background on how I first learned about them:
Back in high school, I took a class called TLC (Thinking, Learning and Communication), which was the closest thing to a psychology class that we had.
Lining the upper walls of the TLC classroom (think ABC banners in kindergarten!), the teacher had large paper stars taped up, each with individual words written on them that represented ‘star qualities.’
One star said Persistence, for example, and others said things like Discipline and Honesty.
The stars were there to represent the ‘soft skills’ that make people successful in life.
When students would then gripe about doing their homework, for instance, the teacher would just point to a star on the wall and say:
“High school is about more than just getting your homework done. It’s about learning star qualities. Your job as a student is not just to get good grades—it’s to develop as a person. School is also meant to teach you star qualities… life skills that you can’t learn from any one homework assignment.”
More than a decade later… I now teach this same concept to my clients in therapy.
High school is much like life—insofar as people have to do things that they don’t want to do, sometimes for reasons that don’t immediately make sense—and this reality requires perseverance and growth on behalf of the individual.
Interestingly, because of their profound ability to genuinely shape and strengthen us, developing star qualities is actually one of the TRUEST paths to self-improvement.
While it’s great to set definitive goals for ourselves—like losing 30 pounds or getting an ‘A’ on a test—these kinds of rewards are often finite, because they tend to lose their value after we achieve them.
However, the development of star qualities results in people actually becoming someone that they can be proud of regardless of their success—which is a much higher reward long-term.
So, when it comes to setting new aspirations for yourself in 2024 (or any time hereafter!), consider placing less emphasis on singular, outcome-oriented goals (i.e., weight, dates, grades, etc.) and focus instead on mastering star qualities.
Emphasizing star qualities not only takes the pressure off of goal-setting by replacing achievement with character development, but it also offers limitless opportunities for improving ourselves, by offering a broader means of practicing skillful conduct, versus ‘siloing self-improvement.’
(Two additional notes: Star qualities also help people reach their ‘finite’ goals faster—because a person who strives to practice persistence and discipline, for example, will have an easier time getting and staying fit compared to someone who only wants to lose weight for their wedding photos…
Furthermore, you will no longer need motivation if you focus on developing star qualities, because your desire to practice star qualities becomes your motivation—it’s the only motivation you need, since respecting yourself, as another example, is a much better reason to lose weight than squeezing into an old pair of skinny jeans…)
To summarize, self-improvement can only happen when we combine action AND intention.
Star qualities are amazing because they offer us both of these things—self-authored purpose, alongside ambitious striving.
So, give things a go and see for yourself, by attaching star qualities to your New Year’s resolutions for 2024—I hope that you will find, as I have, that focusing on star qualities adds meaning and motivation to your everyday actions by raising the bar that you set for your daily conduct.