Are You Your Own Worst Critic?
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
This week, we will continue discussing the three therapeutic Superpowers! YAY!
Today, we will talk about therapeutic Superpower #2, which is a tool for overcoming self-sabotage: Habituating a practice of self-compassion.
Let’s start first with a question:
Have you ever wondered if you’re your own worst enemy?
For instance, perhaps you’ve experienced what it’s like to set a goal for yourself; you self-motivate and hype yourself up, only to then get in your own way and crash and burn for no good reason…
When things are going well for you, do you start to experience a sense of overwhelm or self-doubt?
If you answered ‘yes’ to either of the questions above, then there’s a good chance that you have experienced self-sabotage. Because it breeds stagnation, self-sabotage makes it hard for extremely capable people to overcome adversity, stick to tough tasks, and develop the confidence to push themselves in life.
Ultimately, self-sabotage is rooted in self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, which we discussed in this post and is one of the primary obstacles to self-improvement.
In order to reverse the tendency to self-sabotage, it’s important to learn the skill of self-compassion. Self-compassion is, essentially, the practice of treating ourselves like a friend, especially during moments of struggle or difficulty.
Unfortunately, most of us are much kinder towards others than we are towards ourselves, and this incongruence is a problem when it comes to personal development.
For example, when a person is super self-critical and does not trust their own intuition, it’s going to be easy for them to talk themself out of personal growth. They might, for instance, think to themself, ‘You are stupid,’ ‘I can’t believe you thought you could do this,’ or ‘You never follow through on anything, so don’t even bother starting…’
…AND then they fall deeper into old habits of rumination, inaction, and self-loathing.
Practicing self-compassion is all about reversing negative self-talk. It’s about freeing ourselves from limiting beliefs that leave us feeling incapable of love and unworthy of success.
In the process of becoming a fully-formed human being, you, me—all of us—must eventually get comfortable with the idea of knowing, accepting, and (eventually) appreciating every part of ourselves.
As a therapist, I tell my clients that there is no mental health without self-compassion.
Learning how to become self-compassionate is non-negotiable—that is, at least, if you intend to self-actualize and want to reach your full potential.
Reversing negative self-talk and changing the way that you treat yourself under stress affects everything. Habituating a practice of self-compassion is like building an emotional safety net—a glue that holds you together on the inside—during moments of difficulty.
But self-compassion is not only a remedy for self-sabotage; it’s also a therapeutic Superpower, because it teaches us how we can push ourselves in a healthy way, and therefore tends to expedite any endeavor that we take towards self-improvement and interconnectedness.
If there is one proficiency that I can recommend as a therapist to the general public for improving mental health, it is to habituate a practice of self-compassion. If you would like more information about the specifics of self-compassion and how to practice it (yes, it’s a skill with steps to master!), you can read more about that here.
Next week, we will review the third and final therapeutic Superpower: Developing (and maintaining) a plan for the future.
I am also excited to announce the arrival of the MoodiNews YouTube channel! New videos will be posted every Friday, and the first one will be out next week!