Prioritize the Long-Game
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Today, we will be continuing our current series on: THERAPEUTIC ONE-LINERS! YAY!
The phrase that we will be reviewing today is: Do whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term.
A lot of people who come into therapy struggle with mood-dependent behavior, which means that they prioritize activities that feel good now at the expense of their future well-being.
…The idea of ‘doing whatever will produce your desired feelings’—that’s not a problem for most people.
But remembering to consider how their actions will affect them ‘long-term’—that’s a different story.
Today’s one-liner, Do whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term, acknowledges that people like to feel good in the moment, but it also prompts us to remember that how we feel tomorrow as a result of the decisions that we make today—well, that matters, too.
Often, people resort to behaviors of avoidance or impulsivity under stress.
This usually happens after people find themselves wavering between options in response to feeling overwhelmed:
Should I just quit my job right now?
Should I finally give my mother-in-law a piece of my mind?
Should I just ignore that letter I received in the mail?
In each of the scenarios above, today’s one-liner, Do whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term, is intended to help people tap into their intuition and think twice when they might otherwise be tempted to indulge in short-sighted, short-term gratification.
In cases such as these, forecasting the long-term consequences of their decisions can help people slow down and steer clear of the (often unskillful, but otherwise appealing) path of least resistance.
In therapy (and in life!), it’s important for people to learn how to strategically delay gratification, in order to actually produce their desired feelings long-term.
This means thinking several steps ahead of their impulses on a recurring basis, in order to anticipate how different decisions will affect their future and, from there, create the most preferable outcomes possible.
For most people, today’s one-liner might seem self-evident—but, in actuality, this phrase is something that I often have to remind people about in therapy.
It’s not always easy to keep the long-game in mind when emotions get in the way.
Doing whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term is also challenging for people, because it requires that we stay honest with ourselves about what will and will not produce our true, desired feelings—regardless of what we might be wanting in the moment.
For instance, it might be tempting to date somebody who we know isn’t good for us—and justify our desire by saying, “Well, my future self will feel worse if I don’t do it!”
However, if we continue to trace that line of thinking (and action) farther down the road, it inevitably points to a cocktail of feelings like loneliness, loss, and discomfort, which indicates that our desired feelings long-term will not be present…
Essentially, the purpose of the one-liner, Do whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term, is to encourage people to honor their preferences whenever possible, but only when doing so will also set them up for success in the future.
At its core, this phrase is designed to help people make the wisest decisions possible.
Here are 4 reasons why remembering to prioritize our ‘desired feelings long-term’ can be helpful:
When people adopt a long-game life strategy, it helps them stay resilient (because they’re hopeful!) in response to difficulty and change.
When people are reminded that their current struggles might later pay-off, this serves as motivation during moments of low morale.
When people focus on the potential consequences of their actions, it can help reduce or eliminate their desire to engage in self-destructive behaviors under stress.
When people find themselves struggling with indecision, envisioning their life downstream can help them clarify which actions will best resolve their current conflict.
In conclusion, Doing whatever will produce your desired feelings long-term can be a great way to set yourself up for more skillful decision-making, more often, and keep you grounded even when you’re tempted to do the opposite.
We all pay a price for the choices that we make, but using our future emotions as a ‘fortune-teller’ can help us anticipate which decisions will produce the highest return on our investment in the form of true, long-term happiness.
So, the next time that you find yourself struggling with a difficult or potentially unskillful decision, remember to ask yourself what will produce your desired feelings long-term—and go with that.
Anticipating how your future self will feel about the decisions that you make today will reaffirm your priorities and give you the strength (in tandem with challenging mood-dependent behavior!) to make the wisest choices for yourself in the moment.