A Note about Hope
Hi there!
Welcome back to the MoodiNews. Every Thursday, we discuss a variety of matters related to mental health and self-improvement.
I’m so glad you’re here.
This week, we will be discussing the importance of HOPE! YAY!
Early on in my training as an addiction specialist, I learned a priceless lesson from one of my coworkers. I was fortunate enough to be shadowing him on a day when he was presenting on the topic of hope, and what I learned from him has stuck with me ever since.
He said:
“Expectations are based off of the actions of others, but Hope is based off of my actions.”
This is one of those wise lessons that never leaves you once you hear it and understand its meaning.
As it turns out, hoping for something is not a passive activity.
Rather, having hope is all about self-actualizing our own outcomes in life.
Whenever someone says to me, “I hope…x…will happen,” or “Here’s hoping…x,” I think to myself:
That’s a call to action. From yourself.
If you are hopeful, that should also translate into you taking initiative and helping manifest any change you would like to see.
Hoping for something is all about backing up our intentions with action, in order to increase the likelihood of getting what we want in life.
Expectations, on the other hand, do not instill hope. Expectations are solution-oriented requirements that we place upon others from a place of entitlement; they involve assigning the responsibility of change to anyone or anything except ourselves.
As we have discussed in previous posts, it’s a losing bet to base the outcome of our lives on the actions of others. Expectations, therefore, make us very vulnerable to feelings like disappointment, bitterness, and resentment.
Conversely, hope looks like reestablishing control over our own destiny. Hope differs from expectation, because hope is about what we bring to the table—as opposed to what others can do for us.
(For example, when I hope—rather than expect—that people will keep their word and be reliable around me, I must also then surround myself with the right company and set fair and reasonable boundaries with others in order to make that happen.)
Here’s the bottom line:
Anytime you find yourself at a mental impasse, remind yourself, ‘Hope is based off of my actions.’
Start to focus less on external forces for relief from your problems, and instead reflect on what you can hope to see change, from a place of self-initiated action.
Most of us hope to accomplish a lot in this lifetime.
It’s therefore important to keep in mind that it’s the actions that we take every day, on a small scale, that will ultimately turn our aspirations for well-lived life into a reality.